How Stoicism Changed My Life

 I was lucky enough to find Stoicism at a time when I needed it. My life was a whirlwind of chaos, filled with doubt and insecurity. Everything felt out of control. I’ve always enjoyed philosophy, but for some reason, Stoicism had never crossed my radar. When I finally discovered its teachings, it was like I finally understood how things work.

Stoicism gave me exactly the guidance I needed. It wasn't the standard theory and discussions philosophy usually is. Stoicism is practical wisdom we can use every day. Applied philosophy. I now see life through a different lens. One focused on inner strength, resilience, and stillness.

In this article, I'll share how Stoicism changed my life. We’ll look at the books that opened my eyes, the mental models that reshaped my thinking, and the power of self-accountability.

Stick with me. Whether you're battling your own storms or are curious about Stoicism. I´m sure you'll find something here that resonates. Let's explore how this ancient philosophy can transform modern lives.

 

It All Started with Two Life-Changing Books

You know those times when life feels like it's a storm, and you're trying not to drown? That was me. Full of turbulence, doubt, and insecurity. I felt lost, man. Then I stumbled upon two books that flipped my world on its head: A Guide to the Good Life and Stillness is the Key.

A Guide to the Good Life

This gem by William Irvine is more of a manual for living than a book. Irvine breaks down Stoicism in a way that’s easy to digest. He taught me the art of negative visualization – to imagine the worst-case scenario. Knowing the worst case outcome actually makes me more present. Sounds crazy, right? But it works. It made me see the beauty in my chaotic life. More on this later.

I learned to focus on what I can control and let go of what I can't. It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. External events lost their power over me. I was in the driver’s seat of my own life.

Stillness is the Key

Ryan Holiday's Stillness is the Key took things to another level. Stillness is the idea that true strength comes from a calm and focused mind. This book showed me how to slow down, even in the middle of a storm.

Holiday uses stories from historical figures to drive his points home. It’s like having a mentor whispering wisdom in your ear. He taught me to find peace in the chaos and strength in stillness. It was a game-changer.

The Impact

These books introduced me to Stoicism and reshaped my reality. I started living in the moment, not in the past or future. I built inner strength and resilience. I learned to detach from the madness around me.

Life didn’t get easier. I got tougher. More focused. More resilient. These principles of Stoicism became my shield and sword. And that’s how Stoicism changed my life, starting with two books at just the right time.

 

Stoic Perspectives and Mental Models

I dove headfirst into Stoicism with a hunger for change. Stoic philosophy gave me mental models and perspectives to reshape my life. As I stated earlier, applied philosophy. Practical guides that I apply every day. Let's talk about the three models that hit me the hardest.

Negative Visualization

Negative visualization, or fear setting as Tim Ferriss calls it, is all about prepping for the worst. At first, it felt like I was inviting bad luck. But trust me, this mindset is pure gold. By imagining the worst-case outcomes, I became ready for anything life threw at me. When I say imagine, I mean actually living it. Try it. "Is this what I was so afraid of?" Things are rarely as bad as we make them out to be.

I used to struggle with jealousy. It's a nasty feeling. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. My wife never gave me a reason to be jealous, and I didn't use to feel it either. But suddenly, after several years of marriage, it hit me. This disgusting knot deep in my stomach.

I overcame it by using negative visualization. What's the worst-case scenario? That she would cheat on me. How would I react? I would leave her. What are the consequences of leaving her? What would my life be like? I went through these questions and visualized how my life would be.

I realized that my life would be fine. There were even some upsides to this scenario. This gave me a calm that quieted all those negative emotions. I can happily say I haven't felt jealous for a long time.

Amor Fati

Amor Fati, the love of one's fate. This principle taught me to embrace everything that happens – good, bad, or ugly. It’s about seeing each event as necessary and part of a bigger picture.

Before Stoicism, I'd fight against the current, cursing my luck. But Amor Fati flipped that script. I started seeing setbacks as stepping stones. Got passed over for a promotion? Cool, it’s a chance to learn more and come back stronger. A relationship ended? It’s pushing me towards something better. This mindset brought a sense of peace and enjoyment to my life. I stopped resisting and started flowing. When you enjoy life as it is, everything becomes exciting. Everything is an opportunity.

Memento Mori

Memento Mori – remember you will die. This one’s heavy but vital. It instills a sense of urgency. If I were to die tomorrow, would I be proud of my life? It’s a question that jolts you into action.

I stopped procrastinating. The fact that I could die any moment made every second precious. It pushed me to chase my dreams, take action, and live fully. This perspective is about clarity. It’s a wake-up call to live now, not later.

Application

I applied these principles across the board. In my career, I stopped fearing failure and started taking bold steps. In relationships, I became more present and accepting. Personal growth? I embraced every challenge as a chance to grow. These mental models are true life hacks.

 

Self-Accountability and Taking Control

One of the biggest wake-up calls from Stoicism was this: The only thing controlling me is myself. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that I had the power to shape my own destiny. No more excuses. No more blame games. Pure accountability.

The Power of Accountability

Before Stoicism, I used to point fingers. I was struggling? Blame the world, the system, God. Relationship issues? Must be their fault. Stoicism taught me that I’m in charge of my actions and reactions. This shift was huge.

I started taking full accountability for my life. When something goes wrong, I look inward first. I ask myself, “What could I have done better?” This mindset turns challenges into lessons. I am not a victim of circumstances anymore. I am the master of my fate.

Overcoming Challenges

This new perspective helps me crush obstacles. I remember when a big project at work went south. Old me would’ve spiraled into frustration. But with my new Stoic lens, I owned it. I analyzed what went wrong, learned from it, and came back stronger. That failure turned into a stepping stone for future success. This means accepting hard facts. I was also to blame for the failure of that project.

This mindset worked wonders in my personal life too. Arguments with loved ones became opportunities for growth. Instead of getting defensive, I take responsibility for my part. This improved my relationships and brought more peace into my life. I think both my wife and kids will agree.

Growth Mindset

Stoicism nurtures a growth mindset. Stop fearing failure and start seeing it as a chance to grow. Every setback is a lesson. Every mistake, a teacher.

This shift made me more proactive. I stopped waiting for things to happen and started making things happen. I set goals, made plans, and took action.

Stop waiting for things to happen. Start making things happen.

 

Final Thoughts

So there you have it. Stoicism came into my life when I needed it most. It gave me the tools to navigate through my personal storm.

We started with the two books that sparked my journey: A Guide to the Good Life and Stillness is the Key. I highly recommend that you read them both:

Get A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy here (affiliate link).

Get Stillness Is the Key here (affiliate link)

Then, we dove into the mental models that reshaped my thinking. Negative visualization, Amor Fati and Memento Mori. They helped me face challenges head-on, embrace my fate, and live with urgency.

Finally, we talked about self-accountability. Realizing that I control my actions changed everything. I stopped making excuses and started taking charge.

Stoicism is a practical guide to modern life. It helped me find peace in chaos, strength in stillness, and control in uncertainty. It can do the same for you.

Take the lessons from Stoicism and apply them. Read the books, embrace the mental models, and hold yourself accountable. Watch what it does to your life.

Thank you for reading!

If you found this helpful, dive deeper into Stoicism. You won’t regret it.

Let´s get to work.